01.05.10
hair happy
congratulations to you on your first, full-head, twist attempt! you were so patient and diligent, keeping the faith high when hours had passed and your hands were weary. you kept positive and were encouraged as you saw it all coming together. and now look where you are! no one thought you could pull it off, but you did and you look fab, girl! use this as a metaphor for life. you can accomplish anything if you just keep focused, block out any negativity, and just do it. you will be sure to achieve if you keep a faith-filled attitude. you can do all things. ALL things. because Christ is and always be in you. but for now, just go on rockin’ your ‘do!
love you. stay happy.
m
12.28.09
BIG CHOP!
A belated Merry Christmas to the WordPress world! 
My Christmas was nice. Pretty low-key. The day was spent cooking, and the evening opening gifts/feasting! Mama really did it this year. The food was soooo good. Comparable to Thanksgiving dinner And praise God, lots of left-overs to still enjoy… gosh… I’m going to gain weight while I’m home… meh.
No, but I’ve really been thinking about what I want for 2010 and one thing I’ve been pondering is natural living. At 21, I’m still so young, so I feel like now is the time to establish how I’m going to live as an adult. When I was younger, I was a hard-core yogini. I was a strict vegetarian dedicated to yoga and pilates. It’s a wonder that I didn’t learn about natural haircare at that time! I wish I had. My hair would be so long by now! BUT! I’ve started it all over again, although on the flipside.
Back then I had the healthy living but unhealthy hair practices and now I have the healthy hair but unhealthy lifestyle… which brings me to the topic of this post.
Today… rather impulsively… I did my BIG CHOP! All the relaxed ends have been cut off! Which was a lot – like 5-6 inches of straightened hair in some places (esp. the back!). And I’m NOT an impulsive person. Not at all. Everything has to be planned. But, i don’t know… I just wanted to cut it all off… so I did! And I’m left with 5-6 inches of 100% chemical-free, all-natural hair! All me. It’s curly (type 4a) so with shrinkage it’s about 2-2.5 inches long. And it’s soooo soft
Ah, but honestly, I feel very torn right now. There’s a part of me that feels so proud. I never stick with anything. I tend to get really passionate about things and then quickly become passionate about something else and forget the thing to which I was originally devoted. (I seriously think I have ADHD-PI, but that’s for another post.) So it’s really amazing that I’ve stuck with this for the past 11 months. Albeit, I totally fell off the wagon with vitamin regimen, but still. I’ve come this far, which is something to celebrate. But then there’s another part of me that doesn’t feel like rejoicing, but feels like understating this achievement. Ah, this is a happy post, though! And I want to keep it that way So I’ll continue the rest in another post… or maybe I won’t. Why dwell, right?
11.24.09
Just Do
I feel so encouraged now. My problem is that I don’t truly believe that balance and contentment is attainable for me. So whenever I try to attain it, in the back of my mind I doubt I will actually get there, and therefore DON’T! It makes perfect sense. I’m too focused on the potential for derailment that I never truly give myself a fair shot. And I’m truly tired. I’m tired of the weight in my mind. The negative thoughts, the distorted view of myself and my potential. I know God’s word is true. I have known and trusted that. And yet, for these last 3 years, it has been so difficult for me to believe that His view of His children applied to me. I’ve been to focused on the people around me that I’ve allowed myself to believe the lie that I am inferior to everyone around me. I’ve limited myself, something that I regret now. But I’m realizing that I need to let that go. I need to let the regret go so that I can finally release myself from the past and adopt new views of myself for the future. I’ve been holding the key to my chains for so long now. I just haven’t had the strength to turn the lock. But I think by now I am so in need and desire of replenishment and weightlessness that I can finally release myself. God be with me, I pray.
2 Corinthians 10:
3For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
4(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ…
11.23.09
WAKE UP!
This blog has been sleeping for the past 5 months and it’s time to wake it up!!! A lot and nothing have changed in these past 5 months. Contradictory? Not really. I feel like I’m split in half. One side of me is pushing forward, making great improvements, while the other side of me remains paralyzed. It needs revival. It needs to be awakened because it’s slowing the productive side of me down.
I’ve realized that my accountability to others isn’t enough to mobilize me to make changes for myself if I don’t first change the way I see myself. Ever since I started college, it’s been a constant battle in my mind to resist the lies about who I am and I’m disappointed to say that I have been consistently losing. I’m a senior now, and I’m still losing. How sad is that?
I figured if I am going to finally beat this, then I need a space to hash out my thoughts. I remembered my blog and how therapeutic it was to write here, so it’s being revived! Hopefully I can make some real progress here. I may have lost many battles over the years, but I’m praying that I will win the war.
06.25.09
The Best Performer We Have And Possibly Will Ever Know
His impact spread across the generations. He will truly be missed. May God bless him for all the good he did for the people of this world. He was and still is beautiful.
06.24.09
Current Mood…
burdened. overwhelmed. confused. tired. anxious. hesitant. uncertain. a bit fearful.
BUT I know He is always with me and everything will make sense soon. I just really want the clarity now.
Quote of the Day
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The purpose of life is not to be happy.* It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
*I understand what he means by stating that happiness is not our purpose. He is referring to the selfish happiness that comes from self-serving aims. But our purpose is to to be happy in life. We are to find happiness in our usefulness, honorableness, compassion, and in our every effort to make a difference with the life we have been given. We are to be happy in everything we do to bless others.
06.20.09
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1 year, 85 posts, and 4,797 views later, The Alchemist is still going strong! I’ve been really busy of late, so I haven’t had time to write anything of real substance. But I’m so surprised that I’ve stuck with this blog for so long!
Happy Birthday, Alchemist!!!
