Garden Principles IIa – Adam, Men, and Husbands

So as I just stated above, Adam was not the head of their relationship in the moment of temptation. Instead, he submitted to (trusted) Eve’s guidance and partook of the fruit she brought to him. Therefore, in Genesis 3:16, we see that God challenged man to adopt a role opposite to that which Adam played in the garden. God commanded that Adam (man) will “rule over” his wife and, in Ephesians 5:23, will be “the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.”

Now, this ruling over her does not mean that he is to be an overlord, dictating her every action and restricting her freedoms. No, this is how the world would have us interpret these verses. But is this how Christ rules over us, His church? No, it certainly is not. Christ is not a dictator. He is our greatest counselor, adviser, example, and leader. In Eph. 5:25-26, it states that husbands are to:

“love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.”

I think this only confirms a husband’s role as his wife’s counselor, as he is commanded to “wash her through the word.” Now let us think about what exactly is required in order to be a good counselor and adviser. Such requires someone to be wise (and therefore worthy of giving advice!), a good listener, and a good talker. This means that men are to be 1) constantly plugged into the word of God and cultivating their personal relationship with God (how to achieve wisdom), 2) hearing and understanding the full content of what their wife says (good listener), and 3) talking to his wife (good communicator). Thus, men are to be good communicators with God and good communicators with their wives. This is what Adam failed to be for Eve during the temptation and what men are now challenged to be for their wives.

However, men will likely find it difficult to communicate with their wives and develop their role as counselor because of Adam’s curse, given that their preoccupation with work fosters a systematic-style of communication, focused on solving problems, rather than engaging in open-ended discussions of emotional concerns (the style of conversation that comes more easily for women, who are more preoccupied with their relationships). But to dive deeper into this right now is a bit of a digression. In a later post, I will talk more about the implications that Adam and Eve’s curses have for husband-wife communication and how this challenge can be alleviated by both spouses.

In the future, I also want to discuss how husbands are to give themselves up for their wives, just as Ephesians 5:25 tells us Christ did for the Church, and discuss how this intimates differences between a man vs. a woman’s demonstration of love. This especially relates to the Genesis curse!

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