Drowning

Maybe I’m not trying hard enough. Mom seems to think that I am not, that I am allowing myself to feel too much, to be distracted too easily, that I should be able to control these things. Is she right? Am I not trying hard enough? The thing is… I feel like I have tried to swim against the waves of emotion that crash in these days, only to be taken by the undercurrent. Am I not resisting “enough”? What would be considered “enough”? My therapist says to “be kind to myself,” “to take it easy,” that “I’ve gone through a significant experience and need time to process it” without undue self-pressure. But if I go that route, then is my mom right? Should I not allow myself to decompress if it adversely affects me emotionally, spiritually, academically, socially? Is it wrong to allow myself to experience this moment of weakness? I am so confused. I think I need to tune both of them out and listen to the one who always seems to have the answer – my Savior, my King. God, help me to silence the voices in my head that I may hear Your call. What am I supposed to think right now? I am so tired of failing…

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    • 10gu
    • April 26th, 2010

    Human Condition… imperfection.
    Jesus Christ… Savior, Perfection…

    It’s okay to fail… because Jesus Loves you…

    He LOVES you. and DIED… FOR YOU.

    It is okay… that’s what the gospel is… that’s what the good news is…

    It’s okay.

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