Posts Tagged ‘ revelation ’

Mental Anesthesia

Where is the existential unrest? I miss it. I have become too numbed by circumstance. I am too fatigued by the day-to-day to dream and question and remember the injustices that lie parallel to my reality and how much I once longed to intersect with them for hope of somehow raising them to my plane or higher. Maybe my trip to the Dominican Republic will revitalize the me that felt angered by corruption and was filled with a fire to uplift the survivors of marginalization and the victims on their way to survivorship. Where has she gone? Why is her voice so faint? No… absent? Or rather, whose ears am I now activating and how did the messages they carry come to dominate my worldview? I feel nothing. I resist nothing. Everything is “cool.” Why question anymore? Why not just appease? Just accept?

I am numb.

How unbelievably tragic.

The recent death of my father has made me think a lot about life. I suppose that is the natural response when someone dies – think about life, realize we truly are not invincible, that our days are numbered and therefore, we need to cherish and live them to the fullest. All the clichés that, in reality, should not lose their meaning. I suppose I have joined the ranks of mourners struck by such realizations. But for me, they have had a more positive effect, and, it is conflicting to say and likely sounds incongruous, but in a way I am thankful for his passing for this lesson that it is teaching me. I have largely wasted the past 4 years of my life due to fear and doubt. But I am slowly realizing that everything that matters so much to me – my intellect, my work, what other people think about me – are nothing but trifles in the major scope of my life. What I need to return to and inhabit is my conviction that my life contains the potential and power to impact others for good and that therefore, my focus needs to be on placing myself in a position of access to the resources that will better their lives. It truly is as simple as that. I am so sad that this conviction has only returned after his passing, but feel a burning commitment to carry it out as his legacy.

Hmm… wow. Lightbulb moment. In light of my dad’s death, I have been thinking that the timing of my pre-scheduled trip to the Dominican Republic is quite odd. However, I realize now that this may very well be perfect timing and may supply the tangible encouragement to fully occupy the person God intends me to be and the good qualities that both my dad and I have sought, but been unable to attain. He certainly has them now, in the presence of God’s glory. I pray it doesn’t take death in order for me to attain them.

May he continue to live in peace.

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An Old Dog Abandons Her Old Tricks

For all the growth I have made this semester, I have still been held up by old vices, which is extremely disappointing. I feel the Lord changing me, changing the person within me, and oh… God, I am so eager for it! To be new, fresh, unhampered by the past. And I know I can be. I have tasted newness this semester. But, man, can I be my own worst enemy. But I am determined to win this battle against my old self, and to do that, I need to purge.

My real weakness is that I feel too much. I identify with people, imagine their situation, imagine myself in their situation, try to come up with ways to help and guide them, feel utterly helpless if I can’t succeed in helping them, need to let them know that I am there for them, and then must follow through in being there for them fully. An extreme empathizer. So much that, as a school psychologist pointed out earlier this semester, I allow my own happiness to depend on others, which is so detrimental to myself.

I think this disposition is why I so easily identified with my mother, who in her adversity (being married to my dad), had so much need for empathy. I imagined myself in her place and tried to emotionally fill the void that my dad had created within her. Because I identified so strongly with her, I paid more attention to how my dad treated her than I did his treatment of me. And also, because I identified so strongly with her, she became an example of the kind of person I should be, while my dad became the example of the person I didn’t want to be. I put her on a pedestal.

When I was a little older (~late teens?), my mom told me that she is not the person that she used to be, the person she was before and in the early years of her marriage. But the only person I saw and could remember was this new person she had become. A woman who strived to be wholly self-sufficient, independent, emotionally guarded, masking and denying her true emotions… A necessarily strong woman. A private woman. A dependable woman, who denied herself her own desires and happiness, ranking them after those of everyone around her. Growing up, she was the image of what I thought I should be, of what I wanted to be.

But I realize now that I have truly identified too much with my mother. I have become her in many ways. The qualities that I once viewed as strengths have become faults because I have adopted them too intensely.

INDEPENDENCE –  I always feel like I need to be self-sufficient. I don’t like to ask for help for anything, if I can help it. And I don’t allow others to do niceties for me. For example, I remember when I was moving out of my room at the end of my freshman year at college, a friend scolded me for this. “Let us help you!” he said. “You don’t have to do everything by yourself!” I had tried to move my heavy boxes by myself instead of taking up their offer to help.

Don’t get me wrong, independence is an admirable quality and I am glad that I am equipped to and comfortable with doing things for myself. But sticking too firmly to it has been detrimental (i.e. because of my independence, I have purposely created distance between myself and my friends). This is something of which I am coming to the full realization. I shouldn’t allow my independence to divide me from the people I care about.

When I think more about this trait in relation to my mom, I also realize that she was so independent because my dad didn’t fulfill his husbandly role as God describes it. So she had to step up and lead my brother and I. This example, a woman leading her family, only added to my view of female independence and encouraged me to believe that I shouldn’t depend on any man to do anything for me. And because I didn’t know what that looked like… to have a man lead his wife and for her to be able to depend upon him… I now even find myself resisting guys’ attempts to do something for me. I probably appear less “feminine” to them when I hold doors open for them, rather than allow them to open a door for me. But after years of seeing my dad not do such niceties for my mom, I don’t expect it from any man (except my brother, who my mom brought up to be so courteous) and just automatically do such things for myself. But I don’t like that I am this way. Again, I should be willing to allow people to display their courtesy.

WALLS – My mom set up emotional walls after she realized that her emotions were not appreciated by my dad. He couldn’t be trusted with them. So she entered into  subsequent friendships with a walled heart. Encouraged others to do more talking, so that she wouldn’t have to give too much of herself away. Basically Proverbs 4:23 to the extreme.

I am the spitting image of her example. Growing up, it was emphasized that our private business was our business and not to be shared with others (we had extremely gossip-y neighbors). But I have carried this mandate with me into my young adulthood. I let others do the talking, which is fine because, being an extreme empathizer, I like to hear about their experiences and like bringing them pleasure by showing my interest in their life. And I think I don’t share my emotions partly because I don’t want to run the risk of discovering that they won’t be appreciated by my listeners.

But I have realized that this stunts my growth. Part of being in a relationship with someone is giving of yourself. And part of growing as a person is learning how to trust others with parts of yourself. I think a lot of my past friendships ended because I was unwilling to do this – unwilling to open up and show the other person that I trust them enough to let them see me. Trust. Now that is something that requires true strength. This is definitely something I have been working on building.

This reminds me… I recently read a quote that said something to the effect of… “the problem with [emotional] walls is not only that they keep people out, but they keep you in.” This could not be more true. It definitely has been pretty lonely being the only person who knows me.

DENIAL+MASKING – this falls in line with building walls. My mom was a master actress. Being strong for my brother and I, she denied many of her emotions and masked them. She always appeared strong. Always appeared happy. And she was both of those things. But there was a storm inside. Since I am older now and our friendship has matured, I see this more. She will sometimes say things that hint her desire for affection, but then quickly denies it and masks it. But I know her well and can identify when she’s doing this. And I think she does this because deep down she doesn’t feel that she is worthy of having her desires… or, perhaps more correctly, that it isn’t possible for her to ever have them.

I think out of all the qualities I have picked up, this is the one I need to change the most because, I realize now, it leads most directly to self-sabotage. I deny myself of my desires and convince myself that I can’t have them or am not worthy of them, and then mask that I have a desire at all. For someone who so strongly values communication, this tactic makes me a complete hypocrite because it keeps me from communicating with myself and with others, who very well may be able to deliver what I want. It is a breeding ground for mixed signals.

The truth is, it is not that I cannot have what I desire… but that I do not allow myself to have what I desire, and what is perhaps even available to me. So I create my own unhappiness, not my situation or any other person, etc. In living this way,  I  also offend God by not accepting and trusting His ability to deliver my wants, if they are right for me. So I tie not only the hands of those around me, but His hands as well. I deny myself happiness and love, so that in the end, all I have is my independent self, sitting within all those walls I have built. Alone.

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I realize that I have been living as though I am a woman in a wrecked marriage, perhaps thinking deep down inside that behaving this way will prevent me from acquiring her unhappiness. But, my God. It’s all SO wrong… couldn’t be more wrong than this. And I just praise the Lord that He is bringing me to the full realization of these things NOW, while I am still young. I need to live up to a higher standard – to God’s standard. I am resolved to not look to any other person as a model for how to live, because we are each fallible in our own ways. God is the only one worthy of a pedestal!

We can’t help what situation we’re born into, but we can help how we allow ourselves to be affected by it. And I choose to love myself… fully love myself and believe that I am worthy of happiness and all my desires and that I can and will indeed have them, if not today than someday! All according to God’s perfect time.

Wow, when I re-read this, I wonder who on earth would want to have such a complicated person in one’s life. Yes, I suppose I am quite a complicated mess right now, but I know that God is a good janitor. The best, actually. And now that I have finally given Him the master key to my building, I know it will clean up better than “just fine” 🙂

Future Post:  Traits I’ve picked up from Dad.

I’m Not Who I Was (Brandon Heath)

So I was listening to a random stream of Christian music on Imeem.com, and this song, “I’m Not Who I Was” by Brandon Heath, came on. At first I really got into it because I liked the blend of the drum beat, guitar riff, and the light touch of piano in the bridge and chorus. I found myself getting happy from it. But it wasn’t until the second time around that I actually listened to lyrics and realized he was talking about forgiveness, and in particular, a specific someone he had struggled to forgive. This immediately made me think of my dad.

I didn’t post on here, but about a month ago, I took a step forward in our relationship by forgiving him for hurting my mom, which has hurt my brother and me. In that step, I also reassured him that I love him. I think he could have easily questioned my love for him given the way I have treated him.

Earlier in the semester, I spoke with a psychologist about my family and she told me that I am “too identified with my mother” and “too involved in their marriage.” Well, I knew the second was true, but I had a hard time accepting the first assessment because I felt that I had sided with *right behavior,* not a particular person. After all, I did (and do) criticize my mother when I think she has said or done something out of line toward my dad, my brother, or myself. But in talking with her more and hearing the very defensive statements that came out of my mouth, I realized that she may have a point.

I think I have put my mother on a pedestal because she has always gone over and beyond in performing her role as a mother and in showing us her love. She is more often than not the parent who displays what I would call righteous, or Godly behavior, which I defend. But the fact that I feel so intimately involved in their marriage has definitely made me feel pressured to pick a side, choose an alliance.

I try not to blame myself for this fault because being a teenager, it was hard not to feel caught in the middle. But my mistake in siding with my mom made it very difficult for me not to see his relationship with her as a reflection of his relationship with me; his sentiments toward her as a reflection of how he felt about me.

I think I realized this a while ago, or at least a partial realization because I remember asking my mom to stop talking with me about the details of their marriage because it clouded my perspective of my relationship with my dad. I remember that I felt so guilty when I asked her this because I felt like I was betraying her by wanting to know the person who has caused her so much pain.

But I praise God for where He has grown me. Being older and more mature in Him, I can now separate her relationship with him from mine. She still tells me details. She can’t help it, and I know this. She needs someone to talk to, and now I honestly am glad to be there for her because I can handle it. I have finally realized and accepted that just because their marriage is strained doesn’t mean that my relationship with him has to be strained. I shouldn’t ever feel guilty about accepting his love when he’s willing to give it. He’s her husband, not mine.

There’s more I’d like to say about my relationship with my dad, especially since I made a very important realization of another mistake I made growing up. I am so grateful that God is revealing to my my own faults. For so long I looked at him and blamed him, instead of turning the mirror on myself and realizing the hurt that I was doing to myself! God, You are magnificent! I love growing in You!

I am so glad that every day I can say with greater confidence that “I’m Not Who I Was.”

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I’m not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I’m not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I’m not who I was
You were there
You were right above me
And I wondered if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it’s a funny thing
I’ve figured out I can sing
Now I’m not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe ’cause I want it so much
I’m not who I was

I was thinking maybe I,
I should let you know
That I am not the same
But I never did forget your name

Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that’s what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I’m not who I was

Future Posts (April)

As I described throughout the earlier posts, I plan to continue this “Garden Principles” series and move on to discuss an all favorite topic: LOVE! I have a million notes written down and I just have to sit down and condense it all. But I will be focusing on the differences between 1) how men vs. women show love, and 2) how men vs. women expect to receive love. But warning – don’t expect this post too soon from now.

Also, I am just starting to read the book The Final Quest, by Rick Joyner.

This is my mom’s top recommended book for serious Christians. She recommended that I read it years ago, but I opted not to because I didn’t think I was spiritually mature enough. But I feel spiritually ready now and am so excited for what the Lord will reveal to me through this book. I bought a copy for a friend – which reminds me, I have to mail it out on Thursday (note to self). But I’m hoping we can bless each other as we read it.

So my next post will likely be the love post and will temporarily close out the Garden Principles series. Although there is so much I have learned from the exploring the Garden and so much more left for me to learn, I feel like God is moving me away from meditating on love relationships and onto meditating on how we are to build ourselves (and each other) up as individual members of Christ. For, in strengthening our individual selves, we strengthen and unite the body. And I think it is especially appropriate that I start The Final Quest now, after I have spent the last month studying 1st Corinthians with my Bible study group. It’s awesome how God lines things up, isn’t it? Perfect timing, Lord, as always. 🙂

God Bless you!

Intro to Garden Principles II: Adam and Eve Before the Fall

So, as a refresher, in the first post we established that men and women were created equal, but in their disobedience were cursed with non-physical distinctions:  1) men would be most concerned with their jobs and would face the challenge of providing for their families, and 2) women would be most concerned with their relationships and would face the challenge of being “ruled over” by her husband, despite her own desires to control him.

Now, for many it is really troubling that men should “rule over” their wives (Genesis 3:16) and that wives must “submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22). But I think they make much spiritual sense when we restrain ourselves from reading these verses with a worldly understanding and instead consider these commandments in reference to Adam and Eve’s relationship and their behavior in the garden.

Just remember that God has a purpose in all He commands and ultimately aims to bring us closer to Him. So, with that in mind, what is the purpose of these commandments?

Let’s look at the first temptation. As we all know, Eve was tempted by the serpent to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. As I wrote in the former post, where was Adam when she was being tempted? When the pastor posed this question, I took it to mean where was he physically. But in Genesis 3:6, it says he was with her:

“… she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”

Therefore, I now take his question to mean, where was Adam in that moment, mentally and spiritually? In these verses, he is voiceless. He did not *communicate* with Eve, counsel her, guide her in this pinnacle moment. Adam did not lead her and was not acting like her head. He submitted to (trusted) her leadership (I elaborate on what it means to “submit” below).

Rather, Eve was the leader. In verses 3:1-6, she conversed with the serpent, she made the decision to eat of the fruit, and she led Adam in eating the fruit. Again:

“… she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”

Thus, in this moment, she guided her husband and ruled over him.

Therefore, when we consider the roles that men and women are commanded by God to adopt in Ephesians 5, it makes sense that God challenges them to assume the roles that Adam and Eve failed to perform at the moment of temptation.

Let’s look at Adam and Eve separately in order to gain a deeper understanding of this.

Garden Principles II in its Entirety

**This post has been broken into parts (see above) in order to make it easier to read. However, some may prefer to read the message in its entirety, so I have kept this full post available for viewing.**

~ A1chemist

So, a month has gone by and I am just now revisiting this topic! But I’m actually glad I waited because a few confirmations have come my way since I first gained this understanding in our Lord.

So, as a refresher, in the first post we established that men and women were created equal, but in their disobedience were cursed with non-physical distinctions:  1) men would be most concerned with their jobs and would face the challenge of providing for their families, and 2) women would be most concerned with their relationships and would face the challenge of being “ruled over” by her husband, despite her own desires to control him.

Now, for many it is really troubling that men should “rule over” their wives (Genesis 3:16) and that wives must “submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22). But I think they make much spiritual sense when we restrain ourselves from reading these verses with a worldly understanding and instead consider these commandments in reference to Adam and Eve’s relationship and their behavior in the garden.

Just remember that God has a purpose in all He commands and ultimately aims to bring us closer to Him. So, with that in mind, what is the purpose of these commandments?

Let’s look at the first temptation. As we all know, Eve was tempted by the serpent to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. As I wrote in the former post, where was Adam when she was being tempted? When the pastor posed this question, I took it to mean where was he physically. But in Genesis 3:6, it says he was with her:

“… she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”

So rather, I now take his question to mean, where was Adam in that moment? In these verses, he is voiceless. He did not *communicate* with Eve, counsel her, guide her in this pinnacle moment. Adam did not lead her and was not acting like her head. He submitted to (trusted) her leadership (I elaborate on what it means to “submit” below).

Rather, Eve was the leader. In verses 3:1-6, she conversed with the serpent, she made the decision to eat of the fruit, and she led Adam in eating the fruit. Again:

“… she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”

Thus, in this moment, she guided her husband and ruled over him.

Therefore, when we consider the roles that men and women are commanded by God to adopt in Ephesians 5, it makes sense that God challenges them to assume the roles that Adam and Eve failed to perform at the moment of temptation.

Let’s look at Adam and Eve separately in order to gain a deeper understanding of this.

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Adam and Men

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So as I just stated above, Adam was not the head of their relationship in the moment of temptation. Instead, he submitted to (trusted) Eve’s guidance and partook of the fruit she brought to him. Therefore, in Genesis 3:16, we see that God challenged man to adopt a role opposite to that which Adam played in the garden. God commanded that Adam (man) will “rule over” his wife and, in Eph 5:23, will be “the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.”

Now, this ruling over her does not mean that he is to be an overlord, dictating her every action and restricting her freedoms. No, this is how the world would have us interpret these verses. But is this how Christ rules over us, His church? No, it certainly is not. Christ is not a dictator. He is our greatest counselor, adviser, example, and leader. In Eph. 5:25-26, it states that husbands are to:

“love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.”

I think this only confirms a husband’s role as his wife’s counselor, as he is commanded to “wash her through the word.” Now let us think about what exactly is required in order to be a good counselor and adviser. Such requires someone to be wise (and therefore worthy of giving advice!), a good listener, and a good talker. This means that men are to be 1) constantly plugged into the word of God and cultivating their personal relationship with God (how to achieve wisdom), 2) hearing and understanding the full content of what their wife says (good listener), and 3) talking to his wife (good communicator). Thus, men are to be good communicators with God and good communicators with their wives. This is what Adam failed to be for Eve during the temptation and what men are now challenged to be for their wives.

However, men will likely find it difficult to communicate with their wives and develop their role as counselor because of Adam’s curse, given that their preoccupation with work fosters a systematic-style of communication, focused on solving problems, rather than engaging in open-ended discussions of emotional concerns (the style of conversation that comes more easily for women, who are more preoccupied with their relationships). But to dive deeper into this right now is a bit of a digression. In a later post, I will talk more about the implications that Adam and Eve’s curses have for husband-wife communication and how this challenge can be alleviated by both spouses.

In the future, I also want to discuss how husbands are to give themselves up for their wives, just as Ephesians 5:25 tells us Christ did for the Church, and discuss how this intimates differences between a man vs. a woman’s demonstration of love. This especially relates to the Genesis curse!

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Eve and Women

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In the moment of temptation, Eve acted as the leader in her relationship with Adam and led him to eat the fruit. In this moment, she was the chief counselor in their relationship and advised Adam on what to do. Thus, we see that God commanded the opposite for women: In Ephesians 5:22, wives are to “submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” In v. 24, we see that they are to “submit to their husbands in everything,” and in v. 33, “must respect her husband,” who will “rule over her” (Gen. 3:16).

Now this is very unsettling for secular and Christian women, who interpret these verses to be anti-feminist by intimating that women are to act as doormats and do whatever their husbands command. They apply such sterile interpretations of these verses, as though the relationship between a husband and wife is like a master to his slave. But this is incorrect thinking and thwarts the growth that is intended for both spouses in a Godly marriage.  Women are not to be subjected to the dictatorship of men. No, rather, I believe “submission” is synonymous with “trust.”

Let’s again look at Ephesians 5. After it states that wives are to submit to their husbands (v. 22), it immediately relates the husband to Christ and His relationship with the Church. I think this is done to discourage us ladies from interpreting our submission as subjugation. As the Church, we are not forcefully dominated by Christ. Rather, we must submit to His rule. And how do we do this? By trusting His ability to guide us. Thus, in the same way, we as wives are to trust our husbands’ ability to guide us and advise us in the way of the Lord.

Here’s another way I thought about this. Since husbands are related to Christ’s relationship with the Church, I thought it would make sense to look to Christ and His Bride (the Church) and consider what He most desires from her (the Church). The answer is her Love. Mark 22:37-38 states: “you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.” Thus, Christ most desires our love for Him, and how is love fostered and achieved? Through intimacy. And what is required and developed through intimacy? Trust.

Thus, if Christ and the Church represent the model to be followed in marriage, then all of these elements (love, intimacy, trust) should exist between a husband and wife.

Let’s look again at Ephesians 5. I think it is extremely significant that in God’s description of a husband and wife’s relationship, He describes intimacy. It’s as though He built the same case as made above (love <-> intimacy <-> trust) so that we women would understand that trust is what is expected of us in our marriages. In Ephesians 5:28-31, it states:

“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – [30] for we are members of His body. [31] ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ [32] This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. [33] However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

These verses point to the unity and intimacy that should exist between a husband and wife, that he should “love [her] as [his] own body” and both should “become one flesh.” And as aforementioned, in intimacy, trust is essential to a relationship and further fostered as the relationship deepens. I think this is intimated by the fact that these verses on intimacy end with the commandment that “the wife must respect her husband.” I don’t know about you, but personally, it is much easier for me to trust and take the advice of someone that I respect.

This was a looong description, but I think it’s much more difficult for people to understand the concept of wives’ submission to her husband, so I wrote more for this section. Moral of the story:  Eve led and counseled Adam when they were tempted. Therefore, women are now challenged to trust the counsel of their husbands.

Now, this is obviously not an easy commandment to follow. Of the three elements (love, intimacy, trust) that must be cultivated in a marriage, trust will certainly be the most difficult for women. As the curse indicates:  Gen. 3:16 – women will have desire for their husbands – i.e. will strive to control them. But sisters, I would challenge you to be aware of your desire and strive to grow in the Lord by trusting the guidance of your Godly husbands.

But in a future post, I plan to elaborate on the ways in which women communicate love, how Eve’s curse provides an explanation for the ways in which women expect their husbands to love them, and how women’s understanding of male communication/love can help them convert their idealistic expectations into realistic ones.

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Thinking about the Whole Picture

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I think this view of Adam and Eve is not only important for laying the foundation for what roles a husband and wife are to live (Ephesians 5), but equally important for providing us a model of a husband and wife that fail to act out these roles. When their roles were reversed, they entered into spiritual disobedience and all chaos broke loose.

Personally, it really makes a lot of sense to me that God would challenge men and women to adopt roles that are opposite those that were played by Adam and Eve in the moment of temptation. We only grow closer to the Lord when we are challenged and challenge ourselves. Therefore, living roles opposite those of the pre-curse Adam and Eve will challenge: 1) men’s temptation to just focus on their work and not counsel (i.e. communicate) with their wives, and 2) women’s temptation to be in control of their husbands and dictate the direction of their relationships. God wants to stretch us and make us stronger in Him, so I would encourage you to resist these gender-specific temptations and instead push into Him. Men, strive to be good spiritual examples to your wives; strive to advise and communicate with them. Women, strive to respect and trust your husbands ability to lead you and your family in the right direction.

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*Personal Note Regarding Unequally Yoked Partners

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Now I put a star at the end of the previous paragraph because I don’t want this to be misunderstood. I feel like often people think of male-female relationships as one-sided, as though the actions of each are one-directional. Rather, I think that a synergy is supposed to exist and that synergy is achieved through intimacy. I touched on this in the section on Eve and Women, but I think it is worth emphasizing so that I am not misunderstood. Again let’s consider Christ and the Church. When we as members of the Church have a concern, do we just wait idly by for the Lord to reveal what we are supposed to do? No. What do we do? We talk to Jesus. We pray (talk) to Him. We actively seek Him. We express our concerns, our hopes, and our desires to Him. It is a two-way communication, a partnership. We move toward Him and He moves toward us. This is as it should be between a husband and wife also. They are to communicate with each other; the husband is to listen to and fully consider the concerns, hopes, and desires of his wife, and she is to listen to and fully consider his counsel.

Now, as for submitting to (trusting) your husband’s guidance, I personally only feel that a woman should trust the guidance of a Godly man who is truly striving for enlightenment and intimacy with Jesus Christ. This is my PERSONAL opinion, absolutely not me saying that I have read this in the Bible. I would encourage you to do your own searching on this and bring this question to the Lord. But for me personally, it just makes sense that a Godly woman can have peace submitting to (trusting) a Godly man because he is striving to live according to the husband role  established by God, and is therefore plugged into God and living to exemplify Christ in his daily walk. Thus, if he is submitting to (trusting) God, as she is submitting to (trusting) him (the husband), there is an overall submission (trust) in the Lord. But if the husband is not a Christian actively in the word and actively striving to live according to Christ’s principles, then she is trusting a man who is not trusting God and not weighing all of his decisions in Christ. Rather, in such a marriage, I feel that the wife should look to Christ alone to be her head and to counsel her in matters related to her marriage and life.

Now, because the roles are different, my opinion will be different for men. In my personal opinion, men should still live as the head with their non-Christian wives. They should be ever-connected with God and counsel their wives according to His principles. I would hope that in living this role, he would be successful in leading her to the Lord.

Again, this is just how I see it. I am still studying the Word on this, and Lord please reveal to me if this is wrongful thinking and, if it is, guide me in Your Word to Your truth.

NOTE: God bless Brother wellis32 for reminding me of 1Peter3:1-7:

[1] Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; [2] While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. [3] Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [4] But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. [5] For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: [6] Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. [7] Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

I will have to pray on this a bit more. I’ll come back to this post.

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I hope this has been a blessing to someone! Even if just one person. Continue to seek the Lord, trust in Him, and develop an intimacy with Him. You won’t ever regret it. I know I don’t. 🙂

God Bless you!

Beautiful King – Danyew

God is so good. He is taking me to higher heights and new revelations in Him. I have realized that I have been focusing on the wrong things and for too long. I recently became really frustrated and didn’t understand why He wouldn’t give me something I wanted, but when I finally stopped focusing on what I wanted, how much I wanted it, and my frustration for not having it, I realized that it isn’t right for me right now. I’m not ready for this gift. Right now, He wants my sole focus to be on Him and that is exactly what I plan to do. Dive deeper into my Beautiful King, the Ultimate Peace for my soul.

I recently downloaded this song from itickets.com, where it will be available until Sunday, Mar 22nd.  It’s called “Beautiful King” by Phil Danyew, an up-and-coming Christian artist. I love everything about this song, from the guitar intro, to his lovely voice, to the melody, and most especially, THE LYRICS! They are so beautiful. I have been playing the song on repeat for like… the past 2 hours. haha. And it’s still going! 🙂 The lyrics aren’t posted online, so I typed them up. Here they are! Be Blessed!

Beautiful King,
has anybody seen
Your glory unfold?
You walk up to me
with sparks in Your eyes,
You brighten my world

And You’ll always be my only One.
You’re the only God I’ll ever love
because…

Every word that you say
wields the beauty of angels.
Every smile is arrayed
with a joy like wedding bells.
It’s my heart you hold.
Of your mystery I sing.
I will stand and behold
my Beautiful King

Love of my soul,
with power untold,
who is like you?
Lamb that was slain,
my God, You reign
in victory and truth.

And I’ll follow You all my days.
And I’ll give to You every single thing.
I hand everything over…

Every word that You say
wields the beauty of angels.
Every smile is arrayed
with a joy like wedding bells.
It’s my heart You hold.
Of your mystery i sing.
I will stand and behold
my Beautiful King.

And time flies by.
We’re not standing alone.
Every word that You say,
Father, let it be known.
I fall so fast
without You by my side.
Let Your beauty be seen

Let Your glory unfold
Let Your glory unfold
Let Your glory unfold
Let Your glory unfold

Every word that You say
wields the beauty of angels.
‘Cause every smile is arrayed
with a joy like wedding bells.
It’s my heart You hold.
Of Your mystery i sing.
I will stand and behold
my Beautiful King!!!

‘Cause every word that you say
wields the beauty of angels.
‘Cause every smile is arrayed
with a joy like wedding bells.
It’s my heart You hold.
Of your mystery i sing.
I will stand and behold
my Beautiful King

I really love this song because it where I currently am spiritually. Given the personal revelation I described above, it is a wonderful example to me of what I need to be doing right now. Praising Him (“Beautiful King!!! Love of my soul!”) in the midst of dedicating ALL of my focus to Him (“You’ll always be my only One”… “And I’ll follow you all my days… give to you every single thing”). I have to resist the distractions and the temptations to look elsewhere (“And time flies by. We’re not standing alone… I fall so fast without You by my side”) and seek only His guidance and His deeper revelations (“Every word that You say, Father, let it be known… Let your glory unfold”). What a beautiful prayer!! I love it so much and feel so blessed by it! Thank you, Jesus! He truly meets us right where we are and EXACTLY when we need Him.

Brother Danyew has an EP album out, which features his other song, “Streetlight.”

And here is Brother Danyew being silly. He’s so adorable!

Further proof of his adorable-ness:

He seems like such a humble, passionate artist. I’m excited to hear what new songs he releases in the future and I hope he releases them soon! He’s such a blessing!